Browsing Tag

ron swanson

Quote of the Week

Quote of the Week 2/3/14

February 3, 2014

How bout them Seahawks, eh? The Super Bowl was kind of a super disappointment. I was rooting for the Seahawks to win, so I was happy on that regard, but it was just a total shut out, there was no suspense, and the commercials were more on the sentimental side than the hilarious commercials of Super Bowls past.

We had a huge feast at my apartment, complete with tater tot casserole, 2 kinds of wings, cowboy caviar, buffalo chicken dip, tortilla chips, chicken nuggets, leftover wedding cake, and oatmeal cookies. It was amazing.

In honor of the Super Bowl, this week’s quote comes from Ron Swanson. Enjoy!

“I’ve eaten a lot of food in a lot of restaurants. Why is everyone else so bad at eating?”

 

–Ron Swanson, Parks & Rec

 

Why, indeed.

Why, indeed.

 

Restaurant Reviews

Tico, Boston, MA

September 21, 2012

So unless you’ve been living under a rock, or you’re new to this blog, or you just generally don’t care about the goings-on of my life, you know that a couple weeks ago I flew to Boston to help my cousin move into her dorm. While I was there I ate some delicious food at some delicious restaurants. I picked most of the restaurants we visited by cross-checking Urbanspoon and Yelp reviews with their location and menu offerings. It’s a very scientific process.

Exactly like Bill Nye

While I was up late one night on Twitter, I decided to try my luck and tweet at celebrity chef Mario Batali, asking him where to eat in Boston. I didn’t expect to get a response. BUT THEN I DID. Here’s proof.

PROOF!

We ended up eating at Tico on our final night in Boston, which might have been part of the problem. We’d had such amazing food the entire time we were there, so my expectations were really high. When we decided to go to Tico, I was really going only because Mario Batali told me to. I didn’t really know that it was a Tapas restaurant until we got there. I’ve never had Tapas before, but here’s what I discovered. You’re basically paying for a full meal, but only getting appetizers. Odds are, you’re not going to leave feeling very full.

Truer words were never spoken.

When we first walked in, it was dark. Like really dark. Like, we had to use our phones to be able to see the menus. I’m all about ambience, but that’s getting a little ridiculous. We also were sitting for about 10 minutes before I went up and asked the hostess if someone could bring us some water, since we hadn’t seen anyone who worked there since the hostess sat us. Mind you, this was a Tuesday night. It was not busy.

Like this, only pitch black.

There were four of us, and the waiter (when he finally showed up) suggested that we order 2-3 things a person. Mind you, these “little plates” ranged from $6 to $14 a plate. Or you could do a chef’s tasting for $35, $55, or $85 a person, depending on how hungry you are. Thank god they bring you free bread, or we might have starved. We started with the two-textured beef with morita chiles taco. The tacos came on 6-inch corn tortillas and there were two of them, so we cut them each in half so all four of us could try everything. I really liked it, but Tina hated it. Also, it was very, very spicy. I thought it had a good texture and a good flavor, even if it did burn the tastebuds off of my tongue.

I should have drawn some flames or something so you’d understand that it was really spicy.

We also got the lobster and avocado tacos, which everyone seemed to love. These were also a bit spicy, but not as bad as the beef ones. I liked these as well, but I’m not sure 2 6-inch tacos were worth $12.

Obviously I didn’t take this picture. I stole it from Google.

From there we ordered off of the “a la plancha” section of the menu. We got meatballs with smoky tomato and chicken with spicy pomegranate. The meatballs were served in a sweet sauce, that Tina absolutely hated. I didn’t mind them, but they tasted a lot like the meatballs you get out of the freezer section of Sam’s Club when you’re planning your Superbowl Party. They didn’t taste homemade at all.

Still not entirely convinced that these didn’t come from Costco

The chicken was good, but it really just tasted like bite-sized pieces of grilled chicken. The pomegranate sauce was delicious, and that’s what made it stand out. But without the sauce, the chicken was just… chicken.

See. Chicken.

From there we moved onto the Small Plates. We ordered the Tico’s Mac and Cheese with serrano ham and crunchy bread crumbs. I don’t usually like macaroni and cheese with anything fancy, especially ham (since I hate ham). But I actually loved this. Uncle Greg thought it was a bit watery, but that was fine because it meant more for me.

CHEESY GOODNESS

Next we ordered chorizo risotto with pasilla chiles, scallion and parmigiano. For me, chorizo is pretty hit or miss. Some places do it really well, but most places miss the mark. I liked this pretty ok. Tina hated it, but she also hates chorizo, so. I probably wouldn’t order it again, but it was pretty ok.

Mediocrity in the form of risotto

After the risotto we ordered the crispy fried Manchego cheese with spicy pomegranate honey sauce, which was pretty popular on Yelp. It was a pretty unanimous favorite of the table. Basically it was a fried cheese stick with pomegranate dipping sauce. They came out hot and crunchy, and the cheese was ooey and gooey. I would definitely recommend ordering this if you ever end up at Tico.

Stolen from Google. Mine was all blurry

Another favorite was the sweet corn with bacon, chiles and Thai Basil. It came out nice and warm and tasted like it had been cooked with the bacon, very smoky and delicious. I love any vegetable that tastes like bacon. The corn was cooked perfectly. It was crisp and delicious, and I wish I knew how to make this, because it’s amazing.

BACON CORN. Ron Swanson would approve.

Finally the roasted cauliflower with creamy chipotle and crushed, crunchy Fava Beans. Cauliflower isn’t my favorite, but this wasn’t bad. I know Uncle Greg liked it, but I can’t remember Tina’s thoughts. I think we both just thought it was just ok.

I tend to avoid fava beans, because they always make me think of Silence of the Lambs and it creeps me out.

Our waiter asked if we wanted dessert, but they really didn’t have anything special on the menu. I mean, chocolate cake is a dime a dozen. We ended up going to Ben and Jerry’s for an ice cream instead, and it was a much better value.

This picture alone made it all worth it.

Basically, Tico would be a great spot for a first date. It’s very romantic and the food is good for having conversation, since you’re just snacking. I don’t think I’ll ever go back. I’ll take a little hole-in-the-wall place that serves amazing food, over a trendy, ambience-heavy restaurant every day of the week.

Tico
222 Berkeley Street
Boston, MA 02116

Tico Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Restaurant Reviews

Pomegranate On Main

June 14, 2012

Our visit to Pomegranate didn’t get off to a great start. When my mom called early that day to increase our reservation from 6 to 7, the hostess got all flustered, like we’d asked her something totally insane, like “Hi, I’m going to need for you to find me a chair made out of pure gold, because my badonkadonk is too high class to be sitting on anything less.” She chastised us over the phone “Ok… uhmmm….. let me see what I can do… I just…. this is really…. uh. It might be a bit of a problem. But. uhhh…… hold on [1 minute of silence] Ok. You have to call us if anything changes, because we were only planning for six of you. So let us know if you get any more or any less, because we might have to switch tables, which can be a problem… so…. just make sure you call us.” I’ve changed the number of people on a reservation a hundred times. I know for a fact that’s something restaurants deal with on a daily basis, so spare me the lecture and just add an extra chair to our table. It’s really not that big of a deal. Especially since the restaurant was half empty the entire time we were there. It’s not like people were fighting over seats. But, I digress.

God, I HATE IT when people actually make me do my job!

Everything was fine when we got there, no issues over seating or numbers, which was good. Tina and I ordered their signature pomegranate martini, which is very, very strong, and very, very sweet. It was good, but it took me the entire meal to finish. We started out with an appetizer trio sampler, because we’re indecisive and hungry so we couldn’t pick just one thing. You can customize your trio based on what appeals to you, so I picked the Mast Khiyar (mixture of freshly diced cucumbers, yogurt, raisins, walnuts and fresh herbs), Borani Spinach (blend of sauteed spinach, onion, yogurt and garlic), and Hummus. Tina was apprehensive about the cucumber thing because it had raisins in it, but it ended up being her favorite of the three. It was almost like tzatziki, and you really couldn’t even tell that there were raisins in it. I think we made good choices (especially since the other options were all eggplant based, and I don’t really do eggplant). The hummus was good, although it didn’t compare to the hummus we had at the Moroccan restaurant in Duluth, which is the best hummus I’ve ever had. The spinach thing tasted a lot like the Palak dishes you find at indian restaurants. The appetizers were served with fresh, hot pita bread, which was delicious, and a tray of mint leaves and fresh feta cheese. All the mint ended up going in our water, because we’re school children who can’t behave ourselves in public.

Ben got all excited to arrange his plate all artistically so I could take a picture of it. It really doesn’t take a lot with him.

For my entree, I ordered a Chinjeh Soltani, which was a combination plate consisting of one Koobideh kabob (blend of ground tenderloin and ground chuck, seasoned and charboiled) and one Chinjeh kabob (cuts of tenderloin, marinated in a saffron yogurt combination, charbroiled). The dishes were all served with a grilled tomato and complementing rice dish. Even though mine was just basic basmati rice, it’s probably the most flavorful rice I’ve ever eaten. You’re supposed to squish up the tomato and mix it in with the rice and then squeeze the lime all over it. So I did that. It was so good. Everything was delicious. The piece of meat that’s cut up in the picture is the Chinjeh, and the long stick is the koobideh. I can’t really say which one I liked better. They were both so, so good.

I mean, who doesn’t love a good stick o’ meat?

Sean and Ben both got the same thing, the Torsh Soltani, which was one Koobideh kabob (blend of ground tenderloin and ground chuck, seasoned and charboiled) and one Torsh kabob (cuts of tenderloin, marinated in a zesty sweet and sour Pomegranate sauce mixed with walnuts, charbroiled). Sean ordered special rice with lentils and golden raisins, which was also really freaking delicious. Ben got the same rice as me, so I’m only going to show a picture of Sean’s, because even though they ordered the same thing, I thought Sean’s meat tasted better (that’s what she said?). Christine decided to be different and order a chicken kabob. It wasn’t that interesting, and neither is she (jk jk! I love you Christinalena!). You can see it in the background of Sean’s picture.

“Special” rice for a “special” little man.

Tina and Jenn got a chicken soltani, which was one chicken kabob (marinated in a lemon saffron sauce, charbroiled) and one barg kabob (tenderloin, marinated in a traditional Persian marinade of onion and saffron, charbroiled). I liked the barg, but I still think the torsh was my favorite. Tina’s came with basmati cranberry rice which was probably my favorite of all the rices I tried. It had that great balance of savory and sweet and tart. It was awesome. The chicken was good, but I don’t think it could even hold a candle to the beef. All of the beef dishes were absolutely outstanding, but the chicken was just kind of…. chicken. I mean, it was good, it just didn’t blow me away like the beef dishes did.

Now I’m getting hungry and can’t think of anything funny to say. Boo.

Dad decided to be unique and get something completely different from everyone else. He opted for the rack of lamb (marinated in a rosemary sauce, charbroiled), and lorded over it like a troll guarding a bridge. He reluctantly shared with us after we berated him enough, and I have to say that the lamb was pretty fantastic. I’m picky when it comes to lamb, because a lot of times lamb can be fatty and tough, but this was tender and lean, and the flavor was really outstanding. His came with the same rice as Sean’s (basmati rice with lentils and golden raisins).

Pictured: Why you shouldn’t get gremlins wet.

We opted out of dessert, mostly because we were all stuffed, but also because they didn’t really sound that great. Even though it’s not the best middle eastern food I’ve ever had, it’s definitely the best middle eastern food in Greenville, so if you’re not afraid of GIANT STICKS OF MEAT, then I highly recommend you check it out.

Order the beef or the lamb with cranberry basmati rice. Also, be damn sure how many people are coming with you before you make a reservation, lest you give the hostess a brain aneurysm.

Pomegranate On Main
618 S.Main St
Greenville, SC 29201
(864) 241-3012

Pomegranate on Main Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato