This weekend, I travelled to Augusta, Georgia, to visit my dear friend Lauren “the salad eater” and her army of cats. We had a splendid time testing out the area’s bars and restaurants, as well as exasperating their local police force (try and tell me my ID looks fake, see if I don’t put up a fight. When a girl’s gotta dance, A GIRL’S GOTTA DANCE!).
I pity the fool who prevents Lauren from gettin’ her groove on.
After a fantastic night of Wobbling and singing onstage with cover bands, and a productive morning of worship (Lauren) and sleeping in (Sydney), the hunger pangs kicked in and we made our way to downtown Augusta for some lunch. Lauren recommended a restaurant near her office called The Boll Weevil (which makes more sense after you learn that the restaurant used to be a cotton warehouse). I was a little skeptical of the name (the word weevil doesn’t exactly do it for me), but it was a cute little cafe and I was way too hungry to argue about semantics. We sat in a little room with about 6 or so other tables, filled with families dressed in their Sunday best, while I stood out from the crowd in my shorts and tacky sweater (#noshame). Our waiter was funny and super attentive without being overbearing, which was refreshing. For lunch, I ordered the Curious George, which is turkey topped with spinach dip and provolone cheese on homemade honey wheat bread. It was pretty delicious. The turkey was thick cut, definitely fresh, and the toppings were not too heavy. It was perfect. I got the half version of the sandwich and their tomato apple soup, fire-roasted Fuji apples and carrots in a tomato soup. It was an interesting combination of sweet and savory and spicy. I liked it, which is impressive, because I usually don’t care for tomato soups.
It’s Mmmmm, good…. Also, I hate Campbell’s.
Lauren decided to branch out and get the greasy double fried lard burger with extra carbs on the side. hahahahaha, oh wait, who am I kidding? Of course, she got soup and a salad. No branching out for Lala, no way. Specifically she got the greek salad and vegetable soup. That’s right, she got veggies with her veggies. Oh, and how about a side of veggies? Yes. She’ll have them. She’ll have ALL THE VEGGIES IN THE WORLD!! MUAHHAHAHAHA!!!
She needs to start going to meetings. She has a serious addiction.
Cute waiter also guilted Lauren into getting a piece of cake, apparently because they do cake specials on Sundays, so it was only like 5 dollars for a monstrous piece of cake. She had a hard time deciding which one she wanted to get because she was “SOOO FUULLLLL! I FEEL SO FAT!! I’M GONNA THROW UP IF I EAT ANYMORE” (from a salad… A SALAD). She narrowed it down 3 choices–strawberry, red velvet, and coffee toffee–and told the waiter to surprise her and put a piece in a to-go box. “It’s like Christmas! I don’t want to know what my presents are before I open them!” I’m not one to ruin Christmas, but…
It was the Coffee Toffee. Spoiler alert.
Summary: Get a sandwich and some soup. Unless you’re addicted to salads like La. Also, cake is a meal in itself.
Turning the weevil into a cartoon does not make it any less gross.
The Boll Weevil Cafe and Sweetery
10 9th St, Augusta, GA 30901
(706) 722-7772